That's another thing the two of them have in common, Derek and Stiles. The
lack of touch, the personal space that's practically an abyss between them
and the people nearest them. Stiles was always a pretty independent kid,
but after his mom died, he withdrew absolutely. Couldn't bear to touch or
be touched, and when that passed, he couldn't bring himself to ask anything
of his dad. Not when it was his fault she was gone. And so he'd compensated
in other ways, and his dad never pressed, and a silence full of unspoken
things lay between them. Scott had gotten close, and Stiles had taken some
comfort from the wrestling and playful ease that Scott always had, but that
had been different. And lately, the last year or so, even that had
diminished and then stopped. There was no contact, nothing except the
little touches he'd allowed himself. Limited contact with his dad, with
Scott, with Derek. More, with Derek, not that he ever thought about what he
was doing or why.
Still, that doesn't stop him from flinching and freezing when Derek grabs
him. Grabbing is sudden motion, and if the fairies hadn't done enough to
damage his reactions, being held in that basement sure as hell had. Ripping
his headphones off, he starts, relaxing minutely when it sinks into his
sleep-deprived brain just who it is sitting there. Takes another minute
past that for Derek's question to sink in, and the sheer length of time it
takes him to process should speak volumes about how tired he is. Stiles and
his normally lightning-quick mind, now struggling to keep up. Without that,
what does he have? Nothing.
"I told him to go home yesterday. I just needed some time alone," he
answers, wondering why Derek's bothering. He doesn't have to do this. Not
after what Stiles made happen. "I'm fine. Alone is fine. It's no big deal."
Every word is a bigger lie, but it's not like he's lying to Derek. Just
himself. Just trying to convince himself again that being alone is okay,
because once his stupid sense of honor is assuaged there's no way Derek is
staying. Not when he's got his pack back and the Alphas are dead. Why would
be stay? No, better to just focus on getting back to level and quashing
everything yet again.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-09-14 02:51 pm (UTC)That's another thing the two of them have in common, Derek and Stiles. The lack of touch, the personal space that's practically an abyss between them and the people nearest them. Stiles was always a pretty independent kid, but after his mom died, he withdrew absolutely. Couldn't bear to touch or be touched, and when that passed, he couldn't bring himself to ask anything of his dad. Not when it was his fault she was gone. And so he'd compensated in other ways, and his dad never pressed, and a silence full of unspoken things lay between them. Scott had gotten close, and Stiles had taken some comfort from the wrestling and playful ease that Scott always had, but that had been different. And lately, the last year or so, even that had diminished and then stopped. There was no contact, nothing except the little touches he'd allowed himself. Limited contact with his dad, with Scott, with Derek. More, with Derek, not that he ever thought about what he was doing or why.
Still, that doesn't stop him from flinching and freezing when Derek grabs him. Grabbing is sudden motion, and if the fairies hadn't done enough to damage his reactions, being held in that basement sure as hell had. Ripping his headphones off, he starts, relaxing minutely when it sinks into his sleep-deprived brain just who it is sitting there. Takes another minute past that for Derek's question to sink in, and the sheer length of time it takes him to process should speak volumes about how tired he is. Stiles and his normally lightning-quick mind, now struggling to keep up. Without that, what does he have? Nothing.
"I told him to go home yesterday. I just needed some time alone," he answers, wondering why Derek's bothering. He doesn't have to do this. Not after what Stiles made happen. "I'm fine. Alone is fine. It's no big deal." Every word is a bigger lie, but it's not like he's lying to Derek. Just himself. Just trying to convince himself again that being alone is okay, because once his stupid sense of honor is assuaged there's no way Derek is staying. Not when he's got his pack back and the Alphas are dead. Why would be stay? No, better to just focus on getting back to level and quashing everything yet again.